Parenting

My In-Laws Won't Respect My Boundaries, So I've Stopped Letting Them See My Child

A concerned mother shares her struggles with her in-laws feeding her 1.5-year-old child junk food, despite her efforts to keep them on a healthy diet.

Another Reddit post has gained traction today, this time concerning the matters of a mother and her in-laws.

The mother in this story is deeply concerned about the food her 1.5-year-old child has been consuming at her in-laws' house. She and her spouse have instilled a strict policy of no junk food at home, but the in-laws seem to be disregarding her wishes by introducing the child to unhealthy snacks and meals. This has caused considerable tension between the mother and her spouse, as well as arguments regarding how to handle the situation.

The mother has tried repeatedly to talk with her in-laws about the matter, but they do not seem to take it seriously or respect her boundaries. Not only is she worried about the negative health implications, but also that their actions are undermining her role as a parent and sending the wrong message that junk food is acceptable. Despite all of these efforts, however, she still cannot seem to get through to them about respecting her decisions for her child's nutrition.

The mother was horrified when she caught her in-laws giving her child unhealthy snacks late at night, like Oreo wafers, instead of proper nourishment.

Even worse, when the toddler refused to drink the milk they had prepared for her, they added Milo to it - right after being explicitly told not to give her any junk food. No matter how many times the mother tried to explain that this wasn't an appropriate way to deal with a growing child's nutritional needs and habits, they still didn't seem to pay attention. The in-laws kept justifying themselves by saying that only a little was given or that it would help the child sleep better.

When the mother tells the MIL no, she replies back, "Why don’t I have rights to even do this for my grandchild?"

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Tensions rose further, prompting the mother-in-law to propose installing a CCTV to monitor them 24/7 and sarcastically suggesting that she give her a 'list' of what the child can and cannot have.

But, the mother has had enough. She's cut off communication with them for 2 weeks and plans to keep it that way going forward. She asked Redditors for their thoughts, hoping to gain any sort of validation or advice.

One user comments, "I would stop letting my kid hang out with the grandparents unsupervised. You’ve set your boundary and they’re disrespecting it. If you want to keep them in your life, you can, but I would not let my kid over there unsupervised anymore. Like, go visit together as a family, and watch them like a hawk— “No thank you, we’re not doing cookies today.” “Regular milk is fine please!”

Another user states, "Grandparents have no rights. Zero. She isn't their child. They should respect any boundary you set."

However, one use went against the majority and made the following point: "I'm going to say the opposite to most people here. I think it's par for the course that when a kid goes to their grandparents they will get treated and get spoiled a little bit. I don't believe in making any food "bad" as it can lead to disordered eating patterns later in life. Food should be about balance and moderation. If you are giving her a healthy diet at home, I personally don't believe the odd cookie or sweet at Grandma's house is the end of the world. It's not a hill worth dying on in my opinion"

Regardless of where you fall in this situation, the conversation about boundaries with in-laws is never an easy one. What are your thoughts? Let us know in the comments on Facebook!