Newly Divorced Mama: Finding Your Superpower
Being divorced doesn't take away from yourself. In fact, you might discover some new supernatural abilities.
One way or another, you said goodbye to being a wife. Chances are, it was for a really good reason and now, here you are. But this life path now labels you as someone new and unknown. Lady, you are now a divorced single mama. Some women may fear you; men may flirt with you, but now is the time to start finding out just how kick-ass you are!
In the early days of navigating this life for you and your littles, doubts may start seeping through:
“Can I do all of this?”
“Will I always be alone?”
“Did I do the right thing?”
But there’s a secret you haven’t learned yet – single moms are SUPERHEROS! It’s not cliché, it’s true, 100%. To realize this potential, here’s where we start…
Great superheroes have sidekicks: Hopefully, you are lucky enough to have a tribe, family nearby, or formidable friends; but not everyone has this built in and it’s time to start finding some support. This helps battle your loneliness and not just the you get the whole bed to yourself loneliness (which turns out, is awesome!), but the kind where you need advice, to vent, or just grab a coffee. That’s where your sidekick will come in to help. Try putting yourself out there at school events to meet new parents, join a club, start a new hobby, or anything that opens doors and possibilities for you.
Even Superheroes face villains, take care: You can’t pour from an empty cup and mama, it’s true. Single moms feel the need to be everything all the time, and it gets to be a lot fast. You are not alone in this, but you must protect your time, energy, focus, and mental health, especially if you have a contentious relationship with your ex. Your tiny humans need you to be your best, not perfect. Make that your mom mantra. Need support? Seek it! Exhausted? Go to bed early, the dishes can wait. This is hard for so many of us to do when feeling the pressure. Early on after a divorce, mom guilt and stress are at an all-time high. Do the yoga, drink some wine, and just take a beat for yourself sometimes.
Never compare your superpowers, it’s the stealer of joy: Sure, Beth’s Insta life looks perfect, but as single mamas, we know that there’s social media life and real life. Maybe some will judge your situation, but most will see the brave and awesome that’s inside you. Yes, it’s nice someone gets to go to Hawaii with their handsome partner, BUT you are building and protecting the best and most joyful life for your family. It doesn’t have to be picture perfect, because it’s yours and you are a boss. So as challenging as it is, embrace these early days of single mommy-ness. Cry in the car if you need to, but then straighten your cape and take care of your kiddos. Show up every day, love them with everything you have, because that’s what Superheroes do.