6-year-old: Grandma?

Grandma: Yeah?

6: Can I live with you?

Grandma: I don't raise kids. I just spoil them.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 17, 2019

My mom as a grandma: Have some more ice cream and then let's go buy you all the new toys you could ever want

My mom when she was raising me: If you need new socks you'll have to earn them with chore money, now finish your boiled celery strings

— The Dad (@thedad) April 2, 2021

3 year old: how did you name me?

me: we named you after great grandma

3 year old: MY NAME IS GREAT GRANDMA?!?

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) May 3, 2021

If you guys need anything, just get my 6yo to ask her grandma for it.

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) August 20, 2018

[My wife taking my kids to Grandma’s while I stayed in]

6yo: Why is dad not going? Did he make you mad again?

— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) January 23, 2024

Yesterday I was at my grandma's doctor appointment with her and the physician started lecturing her on cutting back on sugar and she interrupted him and said "I am 90. I think I'm doing ok but thanks for the advice."

— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) October 16, 2022

All my Grandma does is share memories on Facebook 😂 like she shared a pic with me and my ex on and said ‘Aw memories’ like wtf Francis!!

— Nathan Grisdale (@NathanGrisdale) December 11, 2017

son: grandpa, can I have a sip of your coffee?

grandpa: no, it’s not good for a kid

son: because of the caffeine?

grandma: because of the whiskey

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) February 8, 2025

10 asked why my grandma has so much whipped cream in her fridge. I had to tell them they contain the leftovers, not whipped cream.

— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) May 5, 2025

I’m at the stage in my life now when my kid describes someone as old I have to say “old like me or old like grandma”?

— Mommy Needs a Life (@momneedsalife3) February 21, 2024

my kid was upset because I took away her iPad and she was like “ugh! I bet when you were a kid, grandma let you have your iPad!” and I was like…bitch. grandma didn’t even let me have my FEELINGS

— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) May 21, 2024

i left my pajamas at home but my grandma said she had something i could wear and then she brought back this pic.twitter.com/cxKZz3ipOK

— andrew lowe (@andrewlowe) July 22, 2013

My 13yo said “Grandma would be proud of me for anything. I could be training to become a stripper and she’d be like, ‘Can’t wait to hear about your pole dancing lesson!’” And honestly, she’s not wrong.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) October 13, 2022

An actual phone conversation with my grandma:
"I know you're sad your best friend is moving"
Me: "yeah I am"
"Well my best friend died."

— Tyler Layne (@TylerLayneMusic) September 6, 2016

Years ago I wa complaining to my grandma about a boyfriend who lied and she said, “None of them are truth tellers, honey. Most will lie to protect themselves. If you find one that sacrifices himself for the truth, marry that one but, of course, only if he’s rich.”

Of course.

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) September 12, 2020