I took back to school pics of my kids without that little chalkboard thingy, and three PTA moms fainted in shock, one threw up, two are still screaming

— meghan (@deloisivete) August 6, 2025

Me: How was your first day of school?

4-year-old: I didn't hurt anyone.

Better than expected.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 14, 2020

Remember getting back to school shoes and not being allowed to wear them until school started? Ugh, the worst.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 26, 2025

All summer long: Kids are healthy.

5 minutes into the 1st day of school: Everyone has Ebola

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) September 10, 2022

On the first day of school you cry because your babies are growing up too fast, but after the 1st week of school you're like get out of my car.

— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) August 19, 2022

My kids told me that parents of seniors don’t go to Back to School Night and it’s like they don’t realize I only have one year left to embarrass them and I’m not going to miss any chance.

— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) August 20, 2025

My kid’s last words to me before she leaves for her first day of school: “but hey mom, make sure to get some work done today”

OK FIRST OF ALL YOU ARE IN THIRD GRADE

— Linda Tirado (@KillerMartinis) August 6, 2021

You can either have a nice evening or you can read 150 Back to School emails.

But you can’t have both.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 12, 2025

Back to school shopping and I’m about to set up a GoFundMe

— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) August 12, 2025

Just one more day until my kids go back to school. One 450-hour day.

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 12, 2025

I like when the back-to-school ads include tissues and disinfectant wipes. They don't even try to sugarcoat it. Like, yeah your kid is DEFINITELY gonna get sick, probably on the first day.

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) August 7, 2025

Back to school shopping got me wishing my son would drop out

— LL Gabagool Jay (@LLGabagoolJay) August 2, 2025

No thanks, back to school advertisers. My kids already have perfectly good backpacks. Let’s see, they…are…
Oh! Yes, of course they’re in the exact same spot they left them in June! See?
Wait.
What is that smell.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) July 26, 2025

Annual back to school reminder that Crazy Art crayons are not ok.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 5, 2024

On the 1st day of school, my 6-year-old told me about his art teacher, Mr. McClay. This week, I found out his name is actually Mr. Mitchell.

Turns out my kid has been calling him McClay because he thinks that's a better name for an art teacher.

— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) August 31, 2022

So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month.

— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) January 3, 2023

It's important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids

— meghan (@deloisivete) August 7, 2023