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#1
As a kid I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) August 28, 2025
As an adult I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.
#2
I haven't ordered anything off amazon in 18 days. Please clap.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) August 25, 2025
#3
Okay, now we cyber bully Pizza Hut until they bring back the buffet and red cups.
— Dustin Grage (@GrageDustin) August 26, 2025
#4
Me: We really need to be better about our language around the kids.
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) August 26, 2025
Husband: why?
Our 2yo struggling to get the lid off a marker: fucking marker.
Husband: I see.
#5
just tapped my card for $2,375.00… that felt so wrong. that’s an insert card amount of money
— HP (@amishestrogen) August 25, 2025
#6
Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake
— Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ (@Bob_Janke) August 23, 2025
#7
Do people with lip filler know that they look like that
— k (top 99% on OF) (@how_do_i_pdf) August 24, 2025
#8
that prenup is about to be longer than any book travis kelce has ever read
— regina george (@meanlore) August 26, 2025
#9
I was so honored my daughter invited me to her Bachelorette trip in Las Vegas but I have quickly learned that age is NOT, in fact, just a number.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) August 24, 2025
#10
That awkward moment when you're not sure if you actually have free time or if you're just forgetting everything.
— Helen Bach (@andshewasgone1) April 21, 2024
#11
Napping at 4pm is a very dangerous game to play, but I’m gonna take my chances.
— Benny Boy (@Camel_Crushin) August 26, 2025
#12
My toxic trait is thinking everything will be better next year.
— krista (@kristabellerina) August 26, 2025
#13
No one is more shocked than my own kids to find out that they ate all the snacks I bought them within 2 days.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) August 25, 2025
#14
I heard my neighbor telling his wife to calm down.
— Not Today Eric (@NotTodayEric) August 28, 2025
I’m gonna miss him.
#15
I always carry a can of white spray paint so I can make an extra parking space if need be.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) August 29, 2025
#16
One of these days I am going to start making smart choices. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.
— Nayele18 (@nayele18maybe) August 28, 2025
#17
Don't forget to let your emotional wellbeing be dictated by kids in college playing football this weekend.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 28, 2025
