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#1
Just did my own taxes, I should be in prison by march
— EK 😮💨 (@_ayannaE) January 21, 2024
#2
when a girl says “5 mins” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter and both teams have all their timeouts
— poppa (@popitforpoppa) January 21, 2024
#3
starting a rewatching ur
— ☔ (@Whotfismick) January 22, 2024
new show comfort show
for the 15th time pic.twitter.com/pfbfCJlKjq
#4
Times have really changed cause the Girl Scouts are now “link in bio” girlies. What happened to being in the field?
— Funny Glam Girl. (@b0mbchell_) January 19, 2024
#5
why is it still January. i’ve lived several lives this month
— samantha (@milkygoddess) January 28, 2024
#6
Married people give the best advice, they be like "don't ever get married"
— The Prophet 🧎🏿 (@theprophetdub) January 29, 2024
#7
I always thought my attitude was so cute until I started raising a replica of myself.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) January 23, 2024
#8
Adulting involves using the phone’s flashlight a lot more than I had anticipated
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) January 19, 2024
#9
If the person responsible for taking all the teaspoons in the house could return them to the drawer by lunchtime, nothing more will be said about it.
— Late to the party Laura (@ericamorecambe) January 17, 2024
#10
There are two kinds of women, ones who own Stanley cups and ones who don’t understand the ones who own Stanley cups
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) January 14, 2024
#11
At least the first 6 months of January is almost over.
— WhatserName (@IamEveryDayPpl) January 17, 2024
#12
One minute you’re happily married and the next minute he’s cut open a resealable Costco-sized bag.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) January 17, 2024
#13
There’s literally nothing I look forward to more, all day long, than getting back into my bed at night.
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) January 28, 2024
#14
My 6yo got home from school and crawled into bed with a tube of pringles, so I guess it was a rough day in kindergarten
— meghan (@deloisivete) February 21, 2024
#15
8-year-old: When can I stay up as late as I want?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 7, 2024
Me: When you're an adult.
8: By then, my life will be over.
You have no idea.
