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#1
I couldn’t decide if I wanted bangs or not so I cut bangs for my daughter and she looks awful. Dodged a bullet there.
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) January 14, 2021
#2
Me: Yes, you were in my belly.
— Renée Agatep (@GoingByRenee) November 3, 2021
3yo: Why...
*tears in her eyes*
...why did you eat me?
#3
Good luck robbing my house. My home security system is LEGOs on the floor.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 29, 2020
#4
Please pray for my teen who forgot to jump and touch the doorframe before entering a room today
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) January 19, 2021
#5
Have kids so they can do things like smack your thigh and yell:
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) July 5, 2020
SO WIGGLY
#6
Anyone have the cheat codes to parenting a 3-year-old? This level is hard
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) March 10, 2021
#7
been searching for my 4 year old’s dog who is lost somewhere in this house. her… imaginary dog. we still haven’t found him. she’s crying. pic.twitter.com/Y09wJ7LIQT
— Low Hemoglobin Mami 🍒 (@geesweetyeeks) October 17, 2021
#8
"Sorry I don't make the rules" I say blatantly lying to my child about a rule I just made up.
— Avocado Mama (@HeatherStenwall) July 2, 2020
#9
Parenting hack: Tell much lamer bedtime stories than your spouse so that your children will ask for them instead of you every night.
— Raw Motherhood (@MetteAngerhofer) June 30, 2020
#10
The 8yo disrupted my sleep again, so I texted my mom at 2AM to ask when it stops.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) January 2, 2021
#11
The kids were bored so I suggested they play with any of the 8000 toys we have in the house and then we all laughed as I turned on Netflix
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) July 3, 2020
#12
I always thought I'd be a patient mom.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) July 1, 2020
And then I had to listen to my son tell a story.
#13
I let my toddler play with my phone today so now everything is in Spanish and I have 273 pictures of her left hand
— Lottie-pop 🍭 (@Lottie_Poppie) October 7, 2021
#14
I’m not saying parenthood is hard, I’m just saying I was a LOT better at it before I had kids.
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) July 2, 2020
#15
My 11yo just screamed across the skatepark “MOM! DID YOU EVER GET OUR HEALTH INSURANCE REINSTATED? I WANNA DO A TRICK!”
— JennyPentland, GED (@JennyPentland) June 20, 2021
#16
My teenage daughter just walked in my room and said, “Mom, if you take my hairbrush can you please remember to put it back?”.
— Rachel Sobel (@whinecheezits) May 11, 2021
I just looked at her and laughed and laughed and laughed until she slowly backed out of the room.
#17
Hear me out a party bus but it picks up other moms and we get to sleep while it drives around playing true crime podcasts and nobody talks to us or asks us for anything
— 🤷🏼♀️Mommeh Dearest🤦🏼♀️ (@mommeh_dearest) September 4, 2021
