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#1
Thanks to whoever make the decision to schedule school pictures right after recess on a super hot day. My son looks like he requires immediate medical attention.
— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) September 30, 2022
#2
My daughter has been home from school for 30 minutes. She’s been talking for 40 of them.
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) April 23, 2021
#3
One day my kid will find out that McDonald’s does not sell a 5 piece McNugget.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 6, 2023
#4
My daughter called me the other day and after a little while just said “well I’m out of things to talk to you about” and hung up
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) January 1, 2024
#5
“I love laying down when I haven’t laid down all day.”
— redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 (@RYGdance) February 16, 2024
- My son, 8, seeing into my very soul
#6
My 4yo wanted to show me how she’d put her little brother to bed. When we opened his door, he was up playing with toys. She cried NO YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO STAY IN BED and my oh my, how the tables have turned
— The Mom Hack (@TheMomHack) March 3, 2024
#7
If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) March 4, 2024
#8
Please pray for my teen who forgot to jump and touch the doorframe before entering a room today
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) January 19, 2021
#9
Hats off to the waiter that kept a straight face as my 5yo ordered the vagina for lunch instead of the lasagna.
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) June 22, 2021
#10
Me: Yes, you were in my belly.
— Renée Agatep (@GoingByRenee) November 3, 2021
3yo: Why...
*tears in her eyes*
...why did you eat me?
#11
I would like to officially apologize to my toddler for cutting her left pancake before I cut her right pancake, I don’t know what I was thinking
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) November 24, 2021
#12
Anyone have the cheat codes to parenting a 3-year-old? This level is hard
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) March 10, 2021
#13
I let my toddler play with my phone today so now everything is in Spanish and I have 273 pictures of her left hand
— Lottie-pop 🍭 (@Lottie_Poppie) October 7, 2021
#14
My daughter is asking the tooth fairy for $100, “because I really liked that tooth.”
— Mara Thee Reporter (@marascampo) January 31, 2021
😂
#15
I couldn’t decide if I wanted bangs or not so I cut bangs for my daughter and she looks awful. Dodged a bullet there.
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) January 14, 2021
#16
The 8yo disrupted my sleep again, so I texted my mom at 2AM to ask when it stops.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) January 2, 2021
#17
my 6yo keeps drawing these pictures of "the shadowman." i'm not ready to die y'all 😭 pic.twitter.com/jWnSba105k
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) September 1, 2021
#18
My 11yo just screamed across the skatepark “MOM! DID YOU EVER GET OUR HEALTH INSURANCE REINSTATED? I WANNA DO A TRICK!”
— JennyPentland, GED (@JennyPentland) June 20, 2021
#19
My teenage daughter just walked in my room and said, “Mom, if you take my hairbrush can you please remember to put it back?”.
— Rachel Sobel (@whinecheezits) May 11, 2021
I just looked at her and laughed and laughed and laughed until she slowly backed out of the room.
#20
While naming your child, keep in mind that you will need to fill out roughly 1 million forms for them over the course of their childhood so it’s best to pick something short
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) June 14, 2023
#21
Husband: How was 13's baseball practice?
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) March 17, 2023
Me, thinking about how I sat in the car and spent $326 on Amazon: It was good. Saw a few new things and I think we'll be set by Saturday's game.
