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#1
My kid said she can’t wait till she’s an adult and can eat chips for dinner, and I’m just happy she has some goals.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) April 26, 2024
#2
My 8 year old asked if I’d seen his water bottle and I said it was next to the couch. He started to walk off then paused and asked, “the couch for sitting or the couch for laundry?” and the accuracy of the question stung a little.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) April 29, 2024
#3
Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) April 25, 2024
#4
My daughter just burped loud as hell in Olive Garden and I’m like WOW have some decorum and she’s like “that word doesn’t effect me cause I don’t know what it means”
— MOMMA $PICE (@ItsMrsPlugg) April 27, 2024
Okay.
#5
My 8-year-old got his expander and braces taken off and he’s supposed to wear a retainer at night. He lost the retainer by Day 3, and I told him to find it because I’d rather not pay for another one. He looked startled and said “We PAY for this stuff??”
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) April 28, 2024
#6
Bluey referenced “mitochondria” and I immediately said to my 4yo “the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell” like a sleeper agent who just heard their activation phrase
— Jax ⚡️Philosopher Queen (@Diamond_Jax) April 11, 2024
#7
When your 8 year old gets in trouble at school for spelling curse words with scrabble tiles in school, it’s not appropriate to say “well, that’s fucking hilarious.” I know this now.
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) April 24, 2024
#8
Being a mom is humbling bc you get to see all the dopey mannerisms you didn’t know you had copied by someone who’s like 2.5 feet tall
— Kelly (@throeingit) April 25, 2024
#9
My daughter asked me if the tooth fairy would only give money for *her* teeth and I’m a little concerned
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) May 2, 2024
#10
What position is it in soccer where my kid tries to find a four leaf clover?
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 20, 2024
#11
In case you ever wanted to feel better about your housekeeping skills: my son just walked in and asked why I was making it smell like his birthday party. All I had done was mopped. Also, his birthday is in July.
— Lindsay Fickas (@lindsayfickas) April 28, 2024
#12
Lately, my 6yo has been putting on a movie, laying down on the couch, and falling asleep a few minutes into the movie.
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) April 25, 2024
He's already nailed being middle aged.
#13
I’m gonna say no to everything today.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) April 28, 2024
— my 5yo really setting the tone for the day
#14
When I was a kid, I used to wonder why my granddad would just sit in his favorite chair and not do anything but stare in space but now I totally get it
— Trey (@treydayway) May 2, 2024
#15
I did the age old threat to my 3 year old that if she didn’t pick up her toys all over her room that I would throw them away,….. this girl looked me in the eyes & said “do what you gotta do, have fun”
— 𝒥𝑒𝓌𝓁𝒾𝑒 (@jelly_momm) April 11, 2024
MA’AM!!!!!!
