husband: do you know where the thing is

me: I would like to buy a noun

— meghan (@deloisivete) July 18, 2025

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

— Just a girl (@dammit_amy) July 16, 2025

raising teenagers makes raising a toddler look like the easiest time in my life. Sorry for the bad news, toddler parents.

— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) July 17, 2025

I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.

— Kristen (@Kica333) July 14, 2025

I've got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in middle the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

— Darla (@ddsmidt) July 17, 2025

A guy was rude to me in the pharmacy section. Ten minutes later, he got behind me at checkout with one item. I had a full cart and didn’t let him go ahead. Actions have consequences, Greg.

— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) July 17, 2025

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left and oh how I laughed and laughed.

— krista (@kristabellerina) July 14, 2025

I always set two alarms for the morning. One for the person I want to be and one for the person I am.

— Katie (@ALadyNamedKatie) July 16, 2025

I used to get annoyed with my parents for being boring on Saturdays and just napping all afternoon but ok, I get it now

— meghan (@deloisivete) July 12, 2025

Me as a kid: ooooooh who’s at the door?! I’ll get it!

Me as an adult: I think we need a moat.

— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) July 15, 2025

If he doesn’t call you at least 3 times from the grocery store, are you even married?

— Ousa Medusa (@MedusaOusa) July 18, 2025

The lady next to me in yoga class started frantically searching through her bag and asking where her yoga mat was while sitting on her yoga mat, and I think I've found my new kindred spirit.

— Hollie Harris (@allholls) July 17, 2025

Idk who needs to hear this but a snow cone is a perfectly acceptable way to get more water into your children this summer.

— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) July 12, 2025

"huh" is 94% of my vocabulary

— ۶ৎ (@alfkkifine) July 18, 2025