if the earth is so flat explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. you can’t.

— kim (@KimmyMonte) March 6, 2024

please keep my cat in your thoughts tonight. she's not sick or anything. she just needs everyone's attention at all times including at night.

— derek guy (@dieworkwear) March 6, 2024

Gonna start tilting my head like a dog when my boss talks to me.

— Jason, ex Inferis (@benedictsred) March 4, 2024

my cat just walks up to me, says what I can only believe to be a slur & just saunters away.

— RK Jackson | Atlanta 🛸 (@theerkj) March 7, 2024

Maybe dogs tilt their heads at us because they can't roll their eyes.

— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) March 5, 2024

A version of "We Didn't Start the Fire" but it's just Billy Joel listing things in the house my dog has eaten or destroyed.

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 4, 2024

My black & white cat is NOT a tuxedo. He has the coloring of an orca.

— marge (@mags_mclaugh) February 22, 2024

“What if dogs only lick us because we have bones inside?” -9yo

— Lindsey Boylan (@LindseyBoylan) February 14, 2024

this is simply the largest rabbit we've ever seen pic.twitter.com/e0plWQpjBG

— Nebraska Humane Society (@NEHumaneSociety) April 11, 2023

It’s so funny that dog owners are seen as down to earth and cat owners as snobby, when dog owners are like “oh what breed of beast shall we purchase, who were his parents” and cat owners are like “let’s adopt this beast we found in the trash eating Popeyes chicken”

— Amber Sparks (@ambernoelle) January 17, 2024

I love being a cat owner. They’re such easy pets to- STOP ATTACKING THE CURTAINS! QUIT EATING THE PLASTIC BAG YOU ALMOST DIED LAST TIME- but like I was saying very low maintenance pets

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) February 17, 2024

love when a dog has a stupid name. what do you mean this idiot answers to Typewriter

— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) February 20, 2024

It’s stupid that we can’t put pets on our health insurance.

This is my child.

— Kelly (@kelly__le) February 22, 2024

Y’all it’s so wild to call a pharmacy and they ask for the date of birth and I’m like he is a cat I have no idea I found him in a shelter his name is James Dumpling you got his pills or???

— taylor👩🏻‍🦰 (@hockeyyelling) October 13, 2022

Dog: MY BOWL IS EMPTY

Me: You *just* ate

Dog: I SEE NO EVIDENCE OF THAT

— Matty (@bestestname) January 3, 2024

Sorry, I wasn’t ignoring your text, my dog was barking in her sleep so I had to drop everything to gently wake her up & keep whispering, “it’s okay, it was just a dream” until she fell back asleep

— dick snickers (@smithsara79) October 13, 2020

my bf keeps saying i like being inside & doing nothing bc i was socialized by cats and omg he’s right

— Sydney (@sydneyelainexo) October 4, 2023

my parents got our dog a raincoat pic.twitter.com/LskS3mr7aE

— vo 🦭✨ (@lettucepunch) April 12, 2023

My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. I reminded her we have a dog and wow the genuine surprise on her face as it dawned on her that our dog is a pet and not just some other guy who lives here.

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) February 7, 2023